So am I admitting narcissism?, well sort of, but not purposeful narcissism, is that a thing?
I read an article tonight about a woman who realised that she would unintentionally shift focus in conversations to herself, conversational narcissism, she called it, and it struck a cord… So I’m here to apologize …
I know I have a similar habit. It comes from a good place, but heart attacks come from hearts so that’s no excuse.
The thing is, I hate seeing people distressed, I want to help, I want to make things better, and sometimes I end up making it about me. I want my friends to feel like they are not alone, like I get it, like they are not some strange being feeling things in a vacuum, but often I f it up and end up with this focus shift situation.
Like a friend says I’m cold… I will say, me too (well unless I’m not cold, the problem is conversational narcissism not lying) instead of saying, “can I help?”
Someone says so and so upset them and I will tell them: “it’s okay to feel upset, things like that upset me too” sometimes sharing a similar story, instead of just letting them just wallow in their upsettness.
It never really occured to me until I read the article (also people still hang out with me so I can’t be THAT bad) but now I’m suitably shamefaced. SO…
If my need to make you feel understood had resulted in you not feeling heard, I apologize. I apologize if my need to make you feel “like you are not alone” has resulted in making you feel “not validated”
It came with good intentions… But so did many wars… So I humbly apologize and am resolute in my quest to listen without trying to fix it because quite frankly we all just need a moan now and again and not everyone has a blog to do that.