I am currently the most natural I have been since forever. I mean I had chemicals smeared on my head as a primary school girl. So the hair that is on my head right now, after transitioning and then chopping it off, is new to everyone, including me, it is softer and fluffier and even more uncontrollable than I remember. So the natural hair statement I’m making is …oops. Just kidding it’s a learning curve but I am happy, what I am not happy about though is that people are so opinionated about my hair and that it has left me unsure about how I feel about it.
I’m stuck between people like my dad HATING my hair. No matter what I do they just don’t like the natural hair look. My closest family will comment in great relief when they see a Nati go back to straightening their hair. I swear they seem to have the same relief they would have if it was someone giving up a drug-fuelled lifestyle. “Shoo, I see her hair is at least nice again”.
They are always trying to compromise with me to just you know “loosen the curls a little” just a little relaxer, just some straighteners, just make it nicer. Honestly, I am so glad to have my curls at this stage why in the name of overpriced natural hair products would I go back to those, “almost curls” of my transitioning phase, you know those curls that need to be manipulated and pleaded with and look a little sad and limp.
On the other side of the coin other people are super pro my hair, so pro that I don’t know that I always believe them. They are so behind this supposed natural hair statement I am making that they will compliment me on my worst hair days. On days when I know I look a hot mess they will be all. “omg loooove your hair” And I actually don’t know anymore.
Sometimes I find myself looking in the mirror and I don’t know if I look okay. I know I’m going to get comments. That is a given. I wonder if it is a “when are you doing your hair again” or “omw you are so brave, I would never have the guts” or “I see you are also a bos kop now” or some lame afro joke or the preferred hoped for “Cute hair, Ella”.
What’s my point? no point really, I just want fellow naturals to weigh in….Do you also feel like people have so many opinions that you find yourself doubting yourself?
Are you stuck between all the “yassss queen” comments and the “shame, kroes kop” comments? Do you struggle with feeling comfortable in your own skin because you are making a natural hair statement when actually your only motivation for your hairstyle is looking acceptable while not smearing your head with dangerous chemicals…
Please comment, I need to know I’m not alone