I’m not making a natural hair statement…this is just my hair

Are you making a natural hair statement? or like me are you just “doing you” and are a little confused as to why people think that there is something behind your curls except some natural hair products.

This is a question for the Natis out there…Is it just me or are people too vested in your hair? Like do you also feel like you are constantly on a tightrope between people who can’t stand your look and those who are super behind you?

I am currently the most natural I have been since forever. I mean I had chemicals smeared on my head as a primary school girl. So the hair that is on my head right now, after transitioning and then chopping it off, is new to everyone, including me, it is softer and fluffier and even more uncontrollable than I remember. So the natural hair statement I’m making is …oops. Just kidding it’s a learning curve but I am happy, what I am not happy about though is that people are so opinionated about my hair and that it has left me unsure about how I feel about it.

I’m stuck between people like my dad HATING my hair. No matter what I do they just don’t like the natural hair look. My closest family will comment in great relief when they see a Nati go back to straightening their hair. I swear they seem to have the same relief they would have if it was someone giving up a drug-fuelled lifestyle. “Shoo, I see her hair is at least nice again”.

They are always trying to compromise with me to just you know “loosen the curls a little” just a little relaxer, just some straighteners, just make it nicer. Honestly, I am so glad to have my curls at this stage why in the name of overpriced natural hair products would I go back to those, “almost curls” of my transitioning phase, you know those curls that need to be manipulated and pleaded with and look a little sad and limp.

On the other side of the coin other people are super pro my hair, so pro that I don’t know that I always believe them. They are so behind this supposed natural hair statement I am making that they will compliment me on my worst hair days. On days when I know I look a hot mess they will be all. “omg loooove your hair” And I actually don’t know anymore.

Sometimes I find myself looking in the mirror and I don’t know if I look okay. I know I’m going to get comments. That is a given. I wonder if it is a “when are you doing your hair again” or “omw you are so brave, I would never have the guts” or “I see you are also a bos kop now” or some lame afro joke or the preferred hoped for “Cute hair, Ella”.

What’s my point? no point really, I just want fellow naturals to weigh in….Do you also feel like people have so many opinions that you find yourself doubting yourself?

Are you stuck between all the “yassss queen” comments and the “shame, kroes kop” comments? Do you struggle with feeling comfortable in your own skin because you are making a natural hair statement when actually your only motivation for your hairstyle is looking acceptable while not smearing your head with dangerous chemicals…

Please comment, I need to know I’m not alone

6 thoughts on “I’m not making a natural hair statement…this is just my hair

  1. Melissa Javan says:

    The hair issue in PE is huge. I lived there with my curls and everyone around me wore straight hair, wanting to blow dry my hair for a change 🙂 That said, I hardly get comments from my family about my hair. My mom used to give me a lot of grief, saying I look untidy. I like how you wrap your hair up Ella Bella.

  2. Shelley says:

    Amazing how hair has become such a contentious thing. I say where your hair whichever way you want. As for me…I’m still figuring things out.

    I like your hair because I actually think it suits your face.

  3. Samee'ah says:

    Just my 2cents…..I think you rock those curls. Suites you, because You are being You!!! In the end that’s all that matters right?

  4. Odette says:

    Eleanor, have you considered that on bad hair days you don’t look like a hot mess, just hot? Seriously your curls give me life (even when you think you’re having a bad hair day cause you know how to work your hair to make it look good). And as long as you’re happy with your hair, no one else’s opinion matters.

  5. Luchae Williams says:

    I can’t weigh in because my natural hair is reminiscint of Tina Turner meets Edward Scissorhands, so the flat iron will always prevail in my life. BUTTTT I want to say that you can rock an afro, and you can rock a gladde kop… BOTH look good on you girl, so above all things, I would say DO WHAT YOU FRIGGEN WANT! Everyone else must just fall in line. Seriously.

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