But seriously. One thing that struck me in Miracles From Heaven, was the little miracles happening throughout the story. People going out of their way to help each other, doing something small that affects others in a big way. Soon after Logan died I vowed to be more like that. Be the miracle others needed. I wrote the blog post just a month after my son’s death vowing to find little ways for me to be useful, helpful, a blessing to others.
I’ve had a pretty good run, despite myself, I help where I can, whether it’s charities or friends and family. I’m hardly rolling in the money, but if someone needed my time or expertise (you’d swear I have either of those in buckets) I would try. A while back a friend was described as being too nice, the person I was talking to said they couldn’t trust her because, “to be that giving, open and overly nice, she must have an ulterior motive”. In short, she accused her of being false. I stood up for my friend because actually, she’s not even that nice, hahaha, kidding, but seriously she’s a nice person and I believe these unicorns of niceness exist because…excuse the narcissism but I firmly believe that all things aside, I’m a nice person.
It scared me though, do people think that if you try to be nice, you have some ulterior motive? cause in life, this here life where I’m a half work from home mom, half office worker, half neurotic wife of a detective, half blogger (yes that does not add up to a full anything, but then again I’m not half a mathematician, hehe), in this here life my ulterior motive is simple, it’s four things. pay dem bills, love dem boys and laugh as much as possible, while slipping in some naps because I am a terrible sleeper!!! (Is it too late for my mom to have me sleep trained?)…
I’m all over the show with this post. Point is! I stopped going out of my way for people. I did not want to be labeled as a fake or an attention seeker and cringed so hard when a friend would share something little I did for them on social media. Saying thank you for the gift, or help, or whatever might be a nice gesture but what if someone sees it and assumes that’s why I did it. But you know what f that, I am reinvigorated, I am ready for God to use me again, I am ready to fight the anxiety of worrying that people think I’m doing things for attention and just be me, Helping where I can because I am ridiculously blessed when it comes to being helped. Friends, family, virtual strangers are always lightening my loud, and I want to pay it forward. because I firmly believe in being the change you want to see.
Miracles from Heaven has totally been what I needed as I go into another busy week. Motivation to be better and do better despite the naysayers.